Beauty of Darkness

Early mornings in December - misty, cold and beautiful. Rising up early is a bliss as I can witness the beauty of nature in its abundance. The chill in the air is as intractable as the breeze blowing through my hair. The euphony of the birds' chirping feels refreshing.

I can hear the leaves as they conspire with the trees to create an orchestra of musical symphony. The squeaking squirrels, the croaking frogs, the whistling crickets - all signalling an impending rain. Rains in December are a luxury and we were prepared to welcome it wholly. I had befriended the squirrels and frogs very closely as they shared a common trait with me. We all loved rain.

I could hear the loud thunder in the skies as the clouds growled. Was it fear or ecstacy that prompted the crickets but their sound was distinctively pleasant today. Noises - they were a lifeline in more than one way to me. I enjoyed the sounds that these creatures made. I would ease myself on the layback chair and absorb the cacophony.

The first drop would often go un-noticed but I had prepared myself to get a hint today. It was like fresh life being injected into a parched earth. The force which infused life into this lifeless planet replenishes it today as well. The thirsty earth received those drops as if a mother had found her long lost son. The harmony was unmatchable. The fragrance emanating from the earth's womb was intoxicating and I would take in all of it with each breath I took.

The rain added to the chill already doing rounds and I felt my lips shiver in the sheer cold. I could make out that the rain Gods were pleased with us mortals as the heavens had opened up like a dam burst. Downpour would be a gross understatement to this consequence of their magnanimity.

The breeze would spray and inundate my face with water like sprinklers on a green lawn. It was rejuvenating to say the least. I could hear the distinct sounds of a train engine at a distance and my mind would instantly roll back to the day when my most loved one promised a second audience with me soon.

She is brutally straightforward and would wait for none which was evident in the way she met me. I was not expecting her that day but that's how she operates. Un-announced had been her arrival to all whom she had met before and would be the same to all whom she planned to meet.

A sudden gust of wind brought me back to the present. It was still raining and as if cherry on cake, the Sun showed its face from among the clouds like a timid child greeting a stranger from behind his mother's gown. The virgin sunrays fell on my face and i could instantly feel the warmth. I had seen the Sun a thousand times in my mind but today was special. Today was different.

The gong of the church bell brought me into perspective and it was then that I realized that it was a Sunday and I was late for church. Kevin would always come to pick me up for church, but today he was late and I attributed it to the unexpected rain. I planned to go to church by myself and gathered all my paraphernalia. My bible was my biggest refuge to which I could always go.

I locked the house and walked to church. I had familiarized these roads so well that I could walk on these with my eyes closed though I didn't have to close them. Danny greeted me on the way and said that his sister is getting married. Sophia was always a great presence as she oozed with the motherly warmth that I always longed for. She would care for me as if I were in her womb for 9 months. I still remember the time when I carried her on my shoulders and she would bite my ears and pull my hair. She had obviously chosen to remember those times.

The walkways were wet and puddles of water were a haven for kids. Splashers - as I called them, they would give up their world to get down and dirty in the mud. Time had flown by at a great pace bringing me here today with no memory of any mud splashing when I was their size.

Lonliness is a drug. It spares you the bads and it bereaves you of the good too. A double edged sword - cutting the one who faces it as well as the one who uses it. I had enjoyed it for a lifetime now and had no complaints but for one.

My love. She should have taken me with her when she met me. I was a toddler then. She took with her my possessions, bereaved me of my life source and left me alone. Lonliness had seen me suffer and given me refuge - and I loved it for saving me. I had not known the beauty of the trees I adore today. I had not seen the colorful birds singing to me daily and I had not seen the rain which I so dearly loved.

I am waiting for her who promised to meet me soon and left me with a great present.

I never had to close my eyes to witness the beauty of darkness.